ok...so I can't get on myspace right now..and I REALLY need to write. So..here I am..on xanga.
I AM SO CONFUSED!!!
What do I want to do? More import what does GOD want me to do? Even more import..WHY am I doing whatever I am doing??? Does any of this make sense?
I want to go back to Ouachita..but I don't. It cost lots of money...I DON'T HAVE. I want to leave UALR. It's a drag being in a class with someone twice your age. BUT ITS CHEAP. Pro's and Con's to each one. Which is more import?? And even if what seems right to me...is not what God wants. Kind of like that verse.."there is a way that seems right to man, but in the they will perish.." I think that's what it says..i'm not sure..but i do know there is something in the Bible about path..man..right...ok im ignorant.
But let's talk about this...There is NO other college that gets me this excited. UCA scares the daylights out of me..why? it's too big. I would get lost. I wouldn't say that I LOVE OBU, but I greatly feel at home here....
Here is what I have learned since I have been gone. 1. I will make it on my own w/out my sister. 2. I can make good grades if I get a good start. 3. I am nothing w/out Christ, so finding satisfaction in everyday approval will get me nowhere. The pt is this...I have learned WHO I AM in Christ...and I feel as though I am ready to take the good and bad about college years. I am ready, a lil bit not, to spread my wings and fly. But what is God calling me to do? To take this leap of faith? Or to stay in my secure box financially? I have no idea.
"God make it ever so clear to me what you want from me. Than give me the ability..the strength, the motivation..to do what You ask."
Jess | 
